Pong: The Ultimate Adventure
by Santuh Klozzy
Summary: Prepare to be blown away!
1. Chapter 1

**Pong: The Ultimate Adventure**

**An epic adventure, authored by Santuh Klozzy**

_I don't own Pong. I do, however, own the characters Pong Ball and Bad Ball._

**Chapter 1: Pong**

In the beginning, there was no Pong. Then the Creator of the Universe got bored with watching the dull universe. He was really bored with watching humans and Martians and…other things.

So the Creator of the Universe said, "Let there be Pong!" So another universe was created, this one called Pong. This universe consisted of only one creature: a single white block that was bounced back and forth between two larger white blocks. The universe was shrouded in darkness for many millennia and still the white block was bounced back and forth without end. It did not care what happened to it. The white block lived to be sent back and forth between the two large white blocks.

Then a disaster occurred. One day, one of the blocks moved too far to one side and the small white block was sent spinning away into infinite darkness. It was gone forever, so the Creator of the Universe created another white block. Every time that a block fell away into the void of the universe, another one took its place.

Meanwhile, in the other, populated universe that was filled with diverse planets and stars and races and other crap, the Creator of the Universe decided to create a sort of window that would lead from the populated universe into the Pong universe. He, the Creator of the Universe, introduced this in the form of a video game called _Pong_, which gave the player a glimpse into the alternate universe. The player could control one of the big white blocks as they tried to bounce the Pong ball back and forth. Every time the Pong ball disappeared off-screen you would score if you had knocked it into the part of off-screen that was guarded by the other white block.

The Creator of the Universe was pleased with His invention of Pong. However, soon, other, manmade video games arose and Pong was forgotten. The Creator of the Universe decided that Pong had had a good run, but it was time to destroy the universe of white blocks upon a black background.

So He pulled the plug, and Pong was gone.

However, what should have been left dead was resurrected. A new generation of Pong, manmade and synthetic, created by humans, rose up. These soulless, moneymaking gambits took the place of the once mighty universe.

The Creator of the Universe was not pleased that His creation had been spoiled and defiled by lowly humans. So He decided that he would destroy the imposter Pong. In the year twenty-five twenty-four of the Earth calendar, the Creator of the Universe created the Pong universe once again. He rained copies of it down onto the planet, and soon a bloody war was being raged. It would come to be known as the War of Pong.

Half of the planet formed an army called the Pong Liberation Army. They waged war against the other half of the planet, the Elite Pong Force. The Liberation Army only played copies of the original Pong, while the Pong Force played the next-generation, manmade Pong.

Years later, on December fifth, twenty-five ninety-five, the two forces had a battle. General Rather B. Fishing of the Pong Liberation Army and Commander Johnny B. Good of the Elite Pong Force met and played a game of Pong. They had a best four-out-of-five series. Two games were played on the original Pong and two were played on the fake Pong. Johnny B. Good won, and the Pong Liberation Army was destroyed. Imposter Pong games ruled the world.

However that four-out-of-five series sent repercussions throughout the whole of creation. The Creator of the Universe was horrified that a copycat had destroyed his creation. However, inside the Pong universe, strange changes were happening. The original Pong universe had been introduced to fake Pong and parts of the two universes had merged. The result was a raging monster known as the Bad Pong Ball. The Bad Pong Ball was red, and everything it touched blew up. Many other balls, both of the original Pong and the fake Pong, died trying to stop the Bad Pong Ball. Nobody succeeded, and the Bad Pong Ball continued to destroy the world of Pong.

The Creator of the Universe decided that he had to shut down Pong once and for all. Little did he know that it was raging out of control, beyond his power. He destroyed the universe of Pong. The entire original Pong and the entire manmade Pong were gone. However, there were two survivors who were somehow warped into the world of men.

They were the insane Bad Pong Ball and the only other remaining Pong survivor, Pong Ball. The two were both captured by scientists of the Elite Pong Force and studied. The scientists decided to keep the two balls a secret, hidden deep within a laboratory. Now this is how the rest of the tale unfolds…


	2. Chapter 2

**Pong: The Ultimate Adventure**

**An epic adventure, authored by Santuh Klozzy**

_I don't own Pong. I do, however, own the characters Pong Ball and Bad Ball._

**Chapter 2: A Midsummer Night's Massacre**

The Pong war left Earth in a state of carnage and destruction. Entire cities and countries were now radioactive wastelands where only the strongest and the smartest survive. One of these locations was New Pong City, which had been called New York City for a while. What was once a bustling city was now a flattened, ruinous wasteland full of burned, bombed out buildings and lawless heathens.

Below New Pong City, however, was one of the world's largest laboratories. It was known as the BFRS, or Big F'ing Research Station. The BFRS was one of the last bastions of government control in the dark, war-ravaged country. However, deep within the mirrored walls and buzzing computer terminals of the station, dark secrets lurked. On Basement Thirteen there was a research laboratory.

In this laboratory Pong Ball and Bad Pong Ball, who had been strapped down to an examining table, were being held and examined. However, every attempt to dissect the strange orbs failed, as their exterior armor could not be penetrated.

So, for many days and nights, the scientists tried to find out as much as they could about the white ball and the red ball.

But something went terribly wrong.

Late one night, a scientist and his assistant were trying to cut through the balls' exteriors with a specialized surgical laser when the red Pong ball began to glow. Curious, the scientist directed his laser at the Bad Pong Ball, which would prove to be a fatal mistake. Bad Pong Ball's exterior was extremely durable and could reflect just about any type of object thrown, shot or aimed at it. The laser was no exception, and it bounced off of Bad Pong Ball and shot into the room where the scientist and his assistant were. The laser shot into the scientist and his head exploded in a bloody orgy of gray matter. Bad Pong Ball escaped its confinements and flew out of the room, leaving the assistant and the white Pong Ball as the only two witnesses.

The next day reports flooded in from all over New Pong City. There had been a sudden, unexplainable rash of attacks throughout the streets and slums. People had been found with their heads and other limbs blown up. Sometimes all that was left of the body was a dark red blotch upon the Earth, blotching things up.

"From what we've gathered, the white Pong ball is passive while the red counterpart is very aggressive. I wouldn't be surprised if the 'bad' Pong ball is to blame for the recent homicides." Technician Harold Asandradaisiackal said to Head Scientist Gregory Mullenhorsenakoffev over lunch.

"This is bad. What are we going to tell the public? That a killer Pong ball is on the loose? I want it found and destroyed!" Mullenhorsenakoffev yelled, slamming down his coffee mug. "Dispatch the police, the firemen, the army, the whole f'ing show if you have to! Just find it and kill it!"

So the police, the firefighters, the army and the whole f'ing show were dispatched and for many days they searched through the streets, looking for the Bad Pong Ball. And on one midsummer night they found it, atop the roof of the Apollo Reach Hotel-Resort, a twenty-four-floor hotel on the side of the Hudson River. It boasted three indoor pools, a waterslide, live entertainment every night and a mini-bar in every room. The police, the firefighters, the army and the whole f'ing show received an anonymous tip saying that the red Pong ball was hiding out on top of the hotel, so they went there.

On top of the roof, fourteen policemen, five firefighters, twenty soldiers and a whole bunch of people from the whole f'ing show came across the Bad Pong Ball. The results weren't pretty.

The ball began to zoom about. Every time it collided with somebody, said person's head exploded. The police officers' batons and pepper spray couldn't take it down. The firefighters' axes and hoses couldn't take it down. The army's carbines and grenades couldn't take it down. The whole f'ing show's stuff couldn't take it down. Soon, only four policemen, one firefighter, no soldiers and only a handful of people from the whole f'ing show remained. A couple minutes later and nobody remained at all. Exploded heads, dead bodies, empty guns and pepper spray cans littered the rooftop. Then the Bad Pong Ball flew away over the Hudson River and disappeared into the slums.

The next morning, in the BFRS, Mullenhorsenakoffev got the news that the entire force had been wiped out. "Damn it! This is worse than I thought." Then an idea struck Mullenhorsenakoffev and he thought to himself. "Perhaps we can send the white ball after the red one. Maybe it can destroy the red ball!" Then the head scientist gave the go-ahead and they set the white Pong ball free in the streets.

Once it was floating around in the desolate streets of New Pong City, the white ball felt an evil presence nearby and it knew that the Bad Pong Ball was close. It flew away, intent on destroying its evil counterpart.

And over all of this chaos and confusion and death, the Creator of the Universe sat watching an episode of Universal Idol, untroubled by what was happening on Earth.


	3. Chapter 3

**Pong: The Ultimate Adventure**

**An epic adventure, authored by Santuh Klozzy**

_I don't own Pong. I do, however, own the characters Pong Ball and Bad Ball._

_Oh yeah…sorry if this has taken a while to update. I've been…busy. Anyways, this chapter is sort of a quick chapter after my hiatus. I'll probably start to update regularly soon._

**Chapter 3: People in Black**

Mullenhorsenakoffev looked at his shiny laptop's screen. On it was an image of New Pong City taken by a satellite. A small red dot and a small white dot were moving throughout the city, several miles apart from each other.

"I don't get it!" The head scientist started banging his head against his office desk. "Why the hell haven't they destroyed each other!" Mullenhorsenakoffev felt like crying. His ass was grass if that red Pong ball continued on its rampage.

"Mr. Mullenhorsenakoffev? We have someone here who would like to talk to you." His secretary chimed in over an intercom.

"Show him to my office!"

"Sir, it's a woman."

"Show her to my office!"

"…"

"What the hell? How can you say '…' in a sentence?"

"…"

"Never mind, mild-mannered secretary. Let her come in!" Seconds after Mullenhorsenakoffev finished, the frosted-glass sliding door to his office opened and a short woman walked in. She was wearing a black trench coat and a black fedora. She had light brown hair that had been pulled back into a ponytail. The woman's face looked sunken in.

"Hello. Mr. Mullenhorsenakoffev? My name is Roselyn Black."

Mullenhorsenakoffev looked at the strange woman. "Who do you work for, Miss Black?"

The woman showed the head scientist the palm of her left hand. There was a small tattoo of the letters IPRA it. "I work for the International Pong Research Agency. It's our job to study these strange extraterrestrial beings."

The head scientist was _slightly_ taken aback by this. "…So?"

"We have been watching you very closely, Mr. 'Ev." Black pulled up a seat to the scientist's desk. "After the red Pong Ball escaped the laboratories here at the BFRS I was sent in to handle the situation."

"Well thanks, missy, but I'm sure we have this under control."

"I wouldn't be so sure about that, Mr. Mullenhorsenakoffev." Black pulled a strange looking device out of her pocket. It reminded the scientist of vintage sci-fi ray guns. It was short, blue and had funny buttons all over it. "This laser gun is the only thing that can destroy those Pong balls." Mullenhorsenakoffev stared at it stoically.

"How do you know?" He asked, looking skeptical. The woman grinned.

"Well, Mr. 'Ev, the truth is that these Pong balls have been visiting this planet for a long time. Sometimes they are peaceful…other times they are dangerous. The IPRA has developed weapons like this to destroy them."

"Well, how do they get here? What do they want? Where are they going?" The scientist asked.

"We don't know…but recently they stopped visiting our planet. These two balls are currently the only ones on Earth. Usually only one appears at a time…but with two balls on the planet at once the danger is very high. We have to destroy them before any more deaths or damage occurs!" Roselyn Black put the gun back into the folds of her trench coat. She bit her lip. "We need to find them. Are you going to help us in our search, Mr. 'Ev?"

The head scientist of the BFRS looked at her and shrugged. "Sure I'll help. What do we need to do?"


End file.
